Menopause Gifts

7 Dwarves of Menopause.

"It's always best to start with a low dose and closely monitor the results."

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

Flash Cuisine

'Just when I thought menopause couldn't get any worse, my husband shaves off his mustache. Now, I'm the only one in the house with one.'

'My hot flashes have become much more tolerable since I bought the surge protector.'

Mary's hot flashes were becoming more and more intolerable.

'No, Dear, a 'hot flash' is not a comic book superhero power.'

Mrs. Frosty Has A Hot Flash.

'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'

'So you're going through the change, dear. Don't panic. How bad can it be?'

'There, there, Mrs Hornsby. Many women your age go through menopausal facial hair growth.'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"Nothing worse than a hot flash when you're retaining water."

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'I'll ask her later. I don't want to bother my mom when she's on her mood swing.'

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

Many women report sleep disturbances associated with the post-menopausal period.

'The worst part about menopause was having to ask my husband's advice on blade vs electric shaver.'

"I'm sure menopause is no fun, but look on the bright side...beards are in fashion right now."

"Loss of libido? Have you considered Husband Replacement Therapy?"

'Couldn't you just say, 'She's having hot flashes' instead of, 'She's packing heat'?'

'Just give her a chance to cool down. It's probably hormonal.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'We hope you enjoy your stay at the Menopause Cafe. Careful, your plate and waitress may be hot.'

'Sheesh! These hot flashes are getting worse!'

"It's not you, it's your hormone changes."

'Relax. It's perfectly normal to have cold flashes during menopause.'

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

'You know you've reached menopause when your granddaughter asks you when she'll be old enough to shave.'

Flo's kids had a harder time adjusting to their mother's hot flashes than she did.

"Admit it, Mary. You've been having hot flashes, again, haven't you?"

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

'Other women get hot flashes -- My wife has temperature tantrums.'