Experiencing Menopause Gifts

'Night sweats, what night sweats?'

'Other women get hot flashes -- My wife has temperature tantrums.'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

Middle Aged and Enraged

"Just like a man to tell me I'm not having a hot flash."

The Fountain of Menopause

Barbara Started Having Hot flushes

"Not a word, Doc! I'm having hot flashes!"

The Truth Fairy

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

Flash Cuisine

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

The post-menopause luncheon's unintentional comedy act.

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

'I know you don't want to admit you're old enough to be menopausal, but blaming your hot flashes on global warming...'

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

'It's my biological clock.'

'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'

Many women report sleep disturbances associated with the post-menopausal period.

"We can go with the hormone-replacement therapy or skip straight to the husband replacement."

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

Flo's kids had a harder time adjusting to their mother's hot flashes than she did.

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

Fables for the Middle-Aged: Goldilocks and the 3 Hairs.

Internal Clock

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

'There, there, Mrs Hornsby. Many women your age go through menopausal facial hair growth.'

"Nothing worse than a hot flash when you're retaining water."