Post-menopause Gifts

The post-menopause luncheon's unintentional comedy act.

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

Flash Cuisine

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

'I know you don't want to admit you're old enough to be menopausal, but blaming your hot flashes on global warming...'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

'It's my biological clock.'

'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'

Many women report sleep disturbances associated with the post-menopausal period.

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

"We can go with the hormone-replacement therapy or skip straight to the husband replacement."

Flo's kids had a harder time adjusting to their mother's hot flashes than she did.

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

Fables for the Middle-Aged: Goldilocks and the 3 Hairs.

Internal Clock

'Night sweats, what night sweats?'

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

'There, there, Mrs Hornsby. Many women your age go through menopausal facial hair growth.'

"Nothing worse than a hot flash when you're retaining water."