Menopause Warrior Gifts

'Night sweats, what night sweats?'

'No, Dear, a 'hot flash' is not a comic book superhero power.'

'No batteries needed, but you have to be menopausal to make them work.'

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

Hot flush!

'One lousy hot flash, and the little tree-huggers go nuts!'

'Are you on HRT?'

The Three Wise Queens

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"Congrats! It's a health future unequally paid sexual harassment victim!"

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

Flash Cuisine

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

Manspreading in Art

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

'I know you don't want to admit you're old enough to be menopausal, but blaming your hot flashes on global warming...'

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"Shame about the ovaries..."

'It's my biological clock.'

Male & Female separate company buildings

"Now that we're married you'll be cooking and cleaning and ironing and guess who'll be dressing me and combing my hair?" "The mortician."

'Well, no wonder I feel blocked.'

"You're a very intelligent little woman my dear."

'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'

Many women report sleep disturbances associated with the post-menopausal period.

"We can go with the hormone-replacement therapy or skip straight to the husband replacement."

Flo's kids had a harder time adjusting to their mother's hot flashes than she did.

Not very ladylike. Please help.

"Nothing personal - I'm through with the male brain."