Menopause Mentor Gifts

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

“They tease us for going together, but little do they know this is where we gather to plan the dismantling of the patriarchy.”

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"I'm here for the hair."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

Flash Cuisine

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

'I know you don't want to admit you're old enough to be menopausal, but blaming your hot flashes on global warming...'

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

'It's my biological clock.'

'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'

Many women report sleep disturbances associated with the post-menopausal period.

"We can go with the hormone-replacement therapy or skip straight to the husband replacement."

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

Flo's kids had a harder time adjusting to their mother's hot flashes than she did.

Internal Clock

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

"i finally got around to reading the 'Having A Baby' books."

'Night sweats, what night sweats?'