Menopausal Warrior Pillows

"I think one of us was having a hot flash."

The Three Wise Queens

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"First break since 2008."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Congrats! It's a health future unequally paid sexual harassment victim!"

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

Manspreading in Art

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"You're a very intelligent little woman my dear."

'Well, no wonder I feel blocked.'

Male & Female separate company buildings

"Now that we're married you'll be cooking and cleaning and ironing and guess who'll be dressing me and combing my hair?" "The mortician."

Hot flashes

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

Not very ladylike. Please help.

"Nothing personal - I'm through with the male brain."

Psychotic mood swing.

This is how we used to dry clothes. Cool! Solar power in action. It's, like, totally free energy! That�s right � Women's labor is, like, totally free. Did we just switch topics?

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

Fables for the Middle-Aged: Goldilocks and the 3 Hairs.

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

'Night sweats, what night sweats?'

'I've reached that age where I've given up on Mind Over Matter and am concentrating on Mind Over Bladder.'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

"...But guess what Kevin's mother is doing for a living?"

"Why are you smiling?"

Where Did My Love Go?

Here's How The Next Miss America Will Be Chosen

'One lousy hot flash, and the little tree-huggers go nuts!'