Medical Diagnostics Gifts

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'If the ECG isn't broken then we have problem'

Tunnel of Anxiety

'Was that a good 'hmmm' or a bad 'hmmm'?'

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

'There's something wrong here. You have all these risk factors, and yet you're in excellent health.'

X-ray of body shows skull.

'None of my friends know what's wrong with me. So I thought I'd better come and see the doctor.'

"I know - I have the same symptoms - what do you suppose it is?"

"I told Dad I want to be cytotechnologist when I grow up."

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

'Well, well, well...'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'Time for your pills.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

Medical Examinations.

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

"I'm afraid that you have gnumonia."

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

Infected Macron