Medical Examinations Gifts

Medical Examinations.

'Might be depression. Your tongue is depressed.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Hmm... remarkable for your age. Either you are an outlier or an out and out liar."

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

'Me? I thought I was paying you to watch my cholesterol!'

"...No more black coffee!"

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Nervous Oral Testing

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

Turkey Autopsy

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

Turn your head and laugh.

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

Turkey Autopsy

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

Investing 101 Acronym Test.

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."