Physical Examination Gifts

'The pain is just Nature's way of telling you not to get COCKY.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Well, well, well...'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

Nervous Oral Testing

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Turkey Autopsy

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

Medical Examinations.

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

Turkey Autopsy

Investing 101 Acronym Test.

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

"Curiosity."

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."