Medical Exams Gifts

'Touch my toes? I can't even see them!'

Big bucket. 'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."

"My shirt is off."

Your health insurance has lowered the acceptable range of values so you won't need any follow-up.

'Look, all I'm asking is that you turn your head, and I'll just read my weight to you.'

'Open wide and say 'O-W-E'!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Well, well, well...'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Nervous Oral Testing

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

Turkey Autopsy

GCSEs

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

Examinations.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."