Medical Exams Gifts

"High sodium, high cholesterol, lots of toxins - your blood test is remarkably similar to cheap potato chips."

'Touch my toes? I can't even see them!'

Big bucket. 'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."

"My shirt is off."

Your health insurance has lowered the acceptable range of values so you won't need any follow-up.

'Look, all I'm asking is that you turn your head, and I'll just read my weight to you.'

'Open wide and say 'O-W-E'!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Well, well, well...'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

Nervous Oral Testing

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

GCSEs

Turkey Autopsy

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

Examinations.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"We thought this was more realistic."

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'