Health Diagnosis Detective Gifts

"Give it to me straight, Doc. It's my infrastructure, isn't it?"

Disease Management

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Covid Music

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Science and Coronavirus

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

Lyme Disease Research Lab

AEDES: Serial Killer - Zika, Dengue, Fiebre Amarilla, Chikungunya.

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

Flu Vaccine.

R. Gillespie, M.D., specialist in whatever disease is hot at the moment.

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

'I had this two years ago.'

Criminal Germs

Illustrated Encyclopedia of Infectious Diseases

Biomedical Conference. To incentivize advances in medical science, more cures and fewer diseases should be named after people.

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, 'Emergency, sir! -- Hypochondria has reached epidemic proportions!'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'

'The first test was false-positive, the second test was false-negative. What are you trying to pull?'