Medical Detective Gifts

'It's hurtful enough you diagnose yourself on the internet, but then to call me a 'second opinion!''

John Snow

"How did you get your heart to stop beating like that?"

Yes, I do think second opinions can be worthwhile, but not from 'Evonica, All-Knowing Mystical Seer and Soothsayer'!

Doctor getting ready to give lady an injection...

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Barks in code.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

hard-boiled egg...

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'You know too much,'

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Disease Management

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

When Engineers Crack.

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

The Philip Marlow family

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."