Diagnostic Imaging Gifts

'I'm a stay-at-home teleradiologist.'

"I've tricked all my squirmy patients into staying still by telling them we're doing the mannequin challenge."

"Ugh! Moving all our data to the cloud was a smart move, but I've had to hear that stupid pun all week!"

'Welcome to Jiffy Scan. Do you want crayons and coloring pages?'

"Clarence thinks he's hot stuff now that he got the portable DR tricked out."

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Well, well, well...'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

Medical Examinations.

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"I'm afraid that you have gnumonia."

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

Bedside Manna.

"OK, now can we do a silly one?"

Surprise Party

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'Well my inner diagnostician thinks your inner diagnostician is completely off the wall.'

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'