Medical Imaging Gifts

'Boy, you really are stuck! What do you do when this happens in a chimney?'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'

'Which one do I get in?'

'It came in just in time for Valentine's Day.'

Radiologists in therapy.

'That's our new Radiology Specialist!'

"Just relax and hold still."

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

"OK, now can we do a silly one?"

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

vaccine wars.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

A midwife holding a baby

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.