Digital Diagnosis Detective Gifts

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Computer Expert

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Where was I?

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Terry had a computer bug.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"Careful! He knows computers."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."