Digital Diagnosis Detective Gifts

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

Computer Expert

Where was I?

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Terry had a computer bug.

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

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