Meal Masterpiece Aficionado T-Shirts

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Church Basement Foodie

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"....and hold the garlic."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Avocado Timeline

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

Long Corkscrew

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

The Aisle

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'We've been enjoying the ambiance for 20 minutes. Now we'd like to enjoy some service.'

"Linguini for two?"

"I'll have the catch of the day."