Foodie Maestro T-Shirts

"I'll be your maitre D# this evening."

Pianist with Knife and Fork.

Jack of all trades

Baby Piano

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Burnt or Raw?

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'What'll it be?'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"I'd like to toast our guests."

WHACK!

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Quartet of chefs.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Onion Tears

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Patissier

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

A butcher and his apprentice.

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"