Menu Maestro T-Shirts

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'I hate making decisions - just bring me a bottle of each.'

'Hugo here is our chief waiter: He can recite the Menu and never ever forgets an order...'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

'What'll it be?'

Human Cull: People who spend 10 minutes in line for food and only read the menu to make up their mind when they get to the front.

"I don't like it."

"Are there any adult animals on the menu?"

"This sounds good: place the veal in the casserole and simmer for two minutes. Pour on broth, add the vegetables and herbs..."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Rare raw or rare singed?"

"Birds' nest soup! Is that all you've got?"

"Give me the menus—you've kept the chef in suspense long enough."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'That's our entry-level menu.'

'My Mother thinks I spoil you, Brian.'

Ordering a Surprise Dish.

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

'Exactly what day of the week is this the soup of?'

"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

'We won't need menus. Just bring whatever is cooked. They'll eat it and like it.'

'Parts - Labor Total'

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Tartine

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'