Modern Masterpiece Enthusiast T-Shirts

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well....I could've done this!"

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Klimt Kiss Phones

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Picasso: The Early Years

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Cats at private view

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Jackson Pollock Studio

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"Feel better, dear?"

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

The Cremaster Cycle

Art Gallery.

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.