Meal Connoisseur T-Shirts

Einstein tests his pasta-antipasto theory.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Full English Breakfast.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Regular service or affected?"

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Cereal Tasting.

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Quick swig first?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

The Aisle

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."