Fine Foods Aficionado T-Shirts

'Sorry, I don't have any water -- But how about some Grey Poupon?'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"Expense account or regular?"

Wordplay: Export.

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"How's the salmon?"

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

this bordeaux speaks for itself