Fine Dining Afficionado T-Shirts

"For drinks or dinner?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"How's the salmon?"

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Expense account or regular?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."