Meal Masterpiece Aficionado Gifts

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Church Basement Foodie

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'You're going to be in heaven. Cindy makes the most amazing carrot cakes!'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"....and hold the garlic."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Avocado Timeline

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

Long Corkscrew

The Aisle

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'We've been enjoying the ambiance for 20 minutes. Now we'd like to enjoy some service.'

"Linguini for two?"