Hearty Meal Enthusiast T-Shirts

'That's why it's called a full English breakfast.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"Your meal sounded nice."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."