Hearty Meal Enthusiast T-Shirts

'That's why it's called a full English breakfast.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Your meal sounded nice."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

You're the sizzle in my roast!