Math Skeptic Gifts

'In the real world there is no such thing as algebra.'

'I don't need to learn how to subtract. I'm going to work for the government.'

"What this country needs is less math education, not more."

Cats are not as intelligent as you think.

The kid who learnt about math on the street

'I don't want no kid of mine learnin' math! It might lead to science and evolution!'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I think of three things. Boring and useless."

"Welcome to the future"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"I removed the AI software from your computer and I can see now that you're a blithering idiot."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Coincidence or What?

'Don't hide behind sales figures, Bill. We both know terminating me is philosophically unsound.'

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

AI Threat to Democracy

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Dad, this survey says too much study is bad for you..."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."