Geometry Skeptic Gifts

Cab Co. Taxi. I hated geometry in school. There was all that foolish talk about the shortest distance between two points.

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"He gets easily abstracted."

"When I said make it RIGHT, I meant correctly."

Alternative Medicine

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

"I don't like space."

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Mathematics lesson - Equilateral triangle, isoceles triangle, obtuse triangle, and bermuda triangle.

'Don't hide behind sales figures, Bill. We both know terminating me is philosophically unsound.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Weight Gain Denial

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Sophocles Playwriting School. Euclid and Aphrodite are writing their play together. It must be a love triangle.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I totally meant to do that."

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

'OMG Roger, you look totally out of shape!'

Mobius Comic Strip.