Maternity Style Pillows

"Does my bump look big in this"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Batman's Baby

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

The Elephant in the Womb

How's the new one?

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

Clown Delivering Babies.

In the club.

Maternity tattoos

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Triple whammy."

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Happy Mothers Day

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

'I'm on the way!'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

'Here we go, two more mouths to feed.'

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."