Maternity Stylist Pillows

Pregnancy style expectation vs reality

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Baby Hairstyles.

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

Maternity tattoos

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

"Think of global warming! The temperatures will raise by two degrees within the next 100 years! We've got to buy swimming trunks, t-shirts and sun tan for the baby!"

Happy Mothers Day

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

'We couldn't agree on the wallpaper.'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

'How far along are you?'

"You know your dog better than I do."

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

'Make love to me - I want to launch a range of baby and maternity wear.'

"Well at least now I ca almost imagine the level of pain my husband goes through when he's got a cold."

Figure 1. Termite queen maternity wear

'I can't wait till I outgrow my role as an accessory.'

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

An expecting Fly wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying MAGGOT.

Dying your hair red at home

'....Who's the interior decorator again?'

'I'm sure your babies will turn up. Mothers move them all the time.'

Pregnant Women buy Clown Clothes because they fit.

"Haven't been there, haven't done that."

'Post-maternity wear.'

"I hope I don't get any tanning lines."

'Forget it, I don't support them anymore.'

'Be reasonable, dear - I'm sure Mrs West didn't mean to clash with your new curtains.'