Pregnant Style Guru Pillows

Pregnant woman struggling to do up her jeans.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

So … you do a lot of yoga?

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

Baby on Board

Maternity tattoos

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

'How far along are you?'

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Susan used her ingenious invention to carry on playing golf during the final stages of her pregnancy!

Open other end

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."

'Make love to me - I want to launch a range of baby and maternity wear.'

Figure 1. Termite queen maternity wear

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'

Pregnant woman going to 'Accident Claims'.

Delivery Room - Swear Box

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

"I don't understand. Everyone knows I'm here yet no-one calls in to say hello."

101 Placenta Recipes

Pregnant Women buy Clown Clothes because they fit.