Pregnancy Pun Enthusiast Pillows

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Maternity Ward

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

101 Placenta Recipes

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

'Are you sure it's not out of your way?'