Pregnancy Pun Lover Pillows

Maternity Ward

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

Baby on Board

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

Baby Footballer

"Six down, three to go!!"

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

'How far along are you?'

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Susan used her ingenious invention to carry on playing golf during the final stages of her pregnancy!

Open other end

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Pregnant vs. Old.

Delivery Room - Swear Box

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

"What a coincidence. My mum is going to be a single mum and I'm going to be a single baby!"

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.