Pregnancy Fashion Enthusiast Pillows

"Does my bump look big in this"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

Maternity tattoos

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

Baby on Board

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

Baby Footballer

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

'How far along are you?'

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Susan used her ingenious invention to carry on playing golf during the final stages of her pregnancy!

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Open other end

'Make love to me - I want to launch a range of baby and maternity wear.'

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Figure 1. Termite queen maternity wear

Delivery Room - Swear Box

An expecting Fly wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying MAGGOT.

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

101 Placenta Recipes

Pregnant Women buy Clown Clothes because they fit.