Maternity Style Gifts

"Does my bump look big in this"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

The Elephant in the Womb

How's the new one?

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

In the club.

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

Maternity tattoos

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Happy Mothers Day

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

"Triple whammy."

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I'm on the way!'

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

'Here we go, two more mouths to feed.'

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'