Maternity Fashion Gifts

Pregnant woman struggling to do up her jeans.

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

The Elephant in the Womb

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

How's the new one?

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

In the club.

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

Maternity tattoos

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Happy Mothers Day

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I'm on the way!'

Yummy Mummy

"Triple whammy."

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

'Here we go, two more mouths to feed.'

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."