Maternity Wear Gifts

Pregnancy style expectation vs reality

Pregnant footballer's wife.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

The Elephant in the Womb

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

In the club.

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

Maternity tattoos

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Happy Mothers Day

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I'm on the way!'

"Triple whammy."

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

'Oh, boy - stereo!'

'Here we go, two more mouths to feed.'