Maternity Wear Gifts

Pregnancy style expectation vs reality

Pregnant footballer's wife.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

Batman's Baby

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

The Elephant in the Womb

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

Clown Delivering Babies.

In the club.

Maternity tattoos

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I'm on the way!'

Happy Mothers Day

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

"Triple whammy."