Maternity Comedy Gifts

The Elephant in the Womb

Congratulations! When are you due?

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Maternity Ward

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'Here's one I made earlier!'

Maternity ward on the farm.

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

'Which one is yours?'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

The baby's really been moving round today.

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

Please take a number...

Everything looks so good

"The Remote."

Normal pregnancies, premature pregnancies, born again Christians.

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"

"I'm concerned, I haven't had a period in over 8 months."

Smart Suburban Maternity Hospital - "My Evian waters have broken."