Maternity Humor Fan Gifts

Maternity Ward

'I swear, Mrs. Houdini, I saw your baby in there just a minute ago!'

'Which one is yours?'

Normal pregnancies, premature pregnancies, born again Christians.

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

The Elephant in the Womb

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

Congratulations! When are you due?

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

Maternity ward on the farm.

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

The baby's really been moving round today.