Maternity Humor Lovers Gifts

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Maternity Ward

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

The Elephant in the Womb

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

Congratulations! When are you due?

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

'Which one is yours?'

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

Maternity ward on the farm.

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

Pregnant vs. Old.

101 Placenta Recipes

The baby's really been moving round today.