Maternity Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

'Now this time remember - we refer to the babies as 'quadruplets,' not 'the litter!''

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Maternity Ward

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

The Elephant in the Womb

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

Congratulations! When are you due?

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

Maternity ward on the farm.

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'Which one is yours?'

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

The baby's really been moving round today.

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.