Maternity Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Smart Suburban Maternity Hospital - "My Evian waters have broken."

"I've just been reincarnated, any word on a vaccine yet?

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Maternity Ward

The Elephant in the Womb

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

Maternity ward on the farm.

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

Pregnant vs. Old.

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

101 Placenta Recipes