Maternity Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

The baby's really been moving round today.

Everything looks so good

Smart Suburban Maternity Hospital - "My Evian waters have broken."

"I've just been reincarnated, any word on a vaccine yet?

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Maternity Ward

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

The Elephant in the Womb

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

Congratulations! When are you due?

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

'Which one is yours?'

Maternity ward on the farm.

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'