Matchfinding Adventurer Pillows

"No, I'm sorry, we don't have a low maintenance category."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"This will be hilarious!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

The perfect man

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

"She said don't forget the straw."

Russian Dating.

"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Don't even think about it!'

Mate Mart

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'