Match Day Adventurer Pillows

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Beer Order

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

Tennis ball girl.

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

The Rugby Throw Up.

'We're in a hurry.'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'Don't even think about it!'

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

Bowled out.

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

"Did you know 'fajitas' is Spanish for 'tiny girdles'?"

Footballer.

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"