Matchfinding Adventurer Gifts

"No, I'm sorry, we don't have a low maintenance category."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"This will be hilarious!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

The perfect man

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

'Don't even think about it!'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"She said don't forget the straw."

Russian Dating.

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."

Mate Mart

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."