Dating Site Adventurer Gifts

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"Your online profile said you weren't the flighty type."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Online Dating

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

You looked different during our video chat.

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Mate Mart

Russian Dating.

"She said don't forget the straw."

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

Borrow the Bag?

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"