
Some blind dates work out just fine.
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Some blind dates work out just fine.
"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."
"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"
'Take out' Venn Diagram
Would you care to join my brothers, my wolverine and me at our table? You see, with six you get egg roll, and at this point in my life "getting egg roll" is as close s I come to "getting lucky." China Garden. !?!
'I thought dinner was going so well!'
They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.
As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!
Blind date
'How's your love life, Stud Buddy?' - 'Not bad. I'm nailing four women at the moment.' - 'Isn't that a bit risky?' - 'Why?' - 'Well, what if they find out about each other?' - 'What makes you think I'm seeing them separately?'
Finally a normal guy, she thought, until she dropped her fork and he offered to help.
'I'm looking for marriage and kids. Hi, what's your name?'
'Say, have we ever met?'
"I know it doesn't sound romantic, but nowadays, the best place to meet other raccoons is the garbage tip..."
"I'm dating a squash champion."
"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"
I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .
"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"
'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'
"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."
"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."
'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'
"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"
"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."
The perfect man
"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"
'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'
"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."
Wife takes husband's place in the pub
"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."
Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.
"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."
"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."
Russian Dating.
Mate Mart
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