Matchmaking Adventures Pillows

Computamatch.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

Cupid

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Well yes, I did ask for someone with a sense of humor.'

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

'I keep looking for a keepr, and all I find are fixer-uppers.'

"You want to see me, Boss?"

Ventrilamatch.com

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

"I think you are exceeding the speed limit."

"I think they'll be perfect together. He's a journalist and she's a complete composite."

Mister, Inc: 'Wrong...Right'

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."