Dating Adventure Pillows

"He said he was a dog person so I dated him, but he was secretly a cat person."

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

Single men in Tahiti

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

'I was warned about online dating.'

Quarandating.

'Well yes, I did ask for someone with a sense of humor.'

'I keep looking for a keepr, and all I find are fixer-uppers.'

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

'Well I struck out that time. She says she doesn't drink.'

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

Seductive lines that just don't cut it.

Vernissage.

First date bloopers...'I've heard the sushi is good here.'

"He was nothing like his profile."

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

Nearly Fatal Attraction

He wouldn't been a great third date, but not quite worth suffering through dates one and two.

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

"And she's bringing her TWIN!!"

'You're INTIMIDATED?! You surprise me. I actually feel SAFER when there's a surveillance camera around.'

'That's enough small talk, how big are you down below?'