Dating Adventures Pillows

'I don't think of you as a sex object, Irene -- I think of you as two sex objects!'

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'She's a foot fetishist. If you don't have twelve inches, forget it.'

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

'I used to live in a gated community too...It was called, 'San Quentin'.'

"It's the unibrow, isn't it?"

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

Single men in Tahiti

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'Well yes, I did ask for someone with a sense of humor.'

Quarandating.

Boyfriend Shirt.

'I keep looking for a keepr, and all I find are fixer-uppers.'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

"He said he was a dog person so I dated him, but he was secretly a cat person."

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

He wouldn't been a great third date, but not quite worth suffering through dates one and two.

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

"Uh...shall I take...your bikes?"

Nearly Fatal Attraction

'Well I struck out that time. She says she doesn't drink.'

"We're not the type of ghosts he's afraid of. It's ghosting from the person he met on that dating site that he's afraid of."

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

"He was nothing like his profile."

"And she's bringing her TWIN!!"