Dating Adventures Pillows

'I don't think of you as a sex object, Irene -- I think of you as two sex objects!'

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'She's a foot fetishist. If you don't have twelve inches, forget it.'

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

'I used to live in a gated community too...It was called, 'San Quentin'.'

"It's the unibrow, isn't it?"

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

Single men in Tahiti

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Quarandating.

Boyfriend Shirt.

'Well yes, I did ask for someone with a sense of humor.'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

'I keep looking for a keepr, and all I find are fixer-uppers.'

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

"He said he was a dog person so I dated him, but he was secretly a cat person."

He wouldn't been a great third date, but not quite worth suffering through dates one and two.

Give that woman a Pink Squirrel! Give that man a black eye.

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

Nearly Fatal Attraction

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

'Well I struck out that time. She says she doesn't drink.'

"Uh...shall I take...your bikes?"

"We're not the type of ghosts he's afraid of. It's ghosting from the person he met on that dating site that he's afraid of."

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

"He was nothing like his profile."