Dating Escapade Pillows

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

Six arms, no waiting.

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Boyfriend Shirt.

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

Fourplay.

'Not now, Lord!'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

'It was so romantic. The sun, the sea, the mud.'

"You should have told me you needed advice."

Non-smoking. Do you have a footsies section and a non-footsies section?

"If my dad asks where we met just say 'on holiday'."

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

'Don't tell anybody, but I have a date tonight with a rogue agent.'

'I found it in the Khama Sutra...it's an old indian bondage trick.'

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

"He said he was a dog person so I dated him, but he was secretly a cat person."

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"